The Sound and the Fury of Hockey

"To the innocent it seemed discorded and inconsequent, bizarre and paradoxical like the frantic darting of weightless bugs, which run on the surface of stagant pools."

- Nobel Prize-winning author William Faulkner describes an NHL game in 1955.

Oh, Brodeur! Marty from Montreal gets his 112th Shutout contre Les Habs: 3-0 Diablos

La First; 1 out of 3

I’m not going to lie. I missed the whole first period. Not because I was sleeping. I went for a run and by the time I got back the first was already history. As a result, I do not have much to report. Except this; the Habs had 10 shots on goal which amounted to, you guessed it, 0 goals. On the other hand, the Devils had 3 shots on goal, that’s right only 3, and that logically resulted in 1 goal thanks to Zach Parise. Great save percentage thus far, Carefree, keep it up bud. 1 – 0 Devils after one.

La Second; 2 out of 11

More of the same in the second, as is usually the case when you play against such a defensively sound team as the Jersey Shore Devils. Not much offence in this one, kids. If any game was meant for a nap, this certainly was the one. Yet, I am proud to announce that I stayed awake, although not utterly interested, for the entire duration of this one. Arnott made it 2 – 0 for the Devils with only 5 minutes left to play in the second. The Habs, well, they didn’t do too much. Highlights included Gionta taking his 2nd goalie interference penalty and Hamerlik taking a dummy penalty by clearing the disc over the glass in his own zone. Price did also manage to make a beauty of a stop on a 2 on 1 chance. Other than that, I really should’ve been sleeping. 2 – 0 Devils after two.

La Third; 3 out of 20. Game. Set. Match. Shoutout.

Again, I’m not going to lie. I barely watched any of the 3rd either. A close friend that I hadn’t talked to in a while called me and talking to him seemed much more interesting than watching the boys trying to get pucks pass Marty ‘I’m in Montreal, so I’m guaranteed a win’ Brodeur from impossible angles. Yeah, we outshot the Devils 29 to 20 but that landed us all of zero goals. I’m not taking anything away from the real and only St-Leonard stud, Brodeur, but in all fairness it’s not like he was really tested all that much. The blame only befalls on my Habs. Better pick it back up against a shaky Ottawa club on Saturday night, boys. Let’s just forget about this one and move on. 3 – 0 Devils, final.

Revelation of the Night: Marty Brodeur earns his 112th shutout and improves his record against Montreal to = 39-16-5.

The Narcoleptic Fan Misses Back to Back Wins

Yawn.

Okay, so I guess that I've been a little tired lately. For some odd reason, it appears that I've caught a bad case of the pre-season Carefree Price ailment. That is, I cannot stay awake for an entire game. Don't get me wrong, I do great in the first period. I'm fully awake as I take notes, yell at my TV, cheer on les boys, get cozy on the couch with my dog and observe Carey continue his strong play. (I'm proud of you, Price. You're doing great these days, kid.) Yet, as soon as the break between the first and second period begins, I drift into a comforting cataleptic cuddle with Senorita Siesta and get knocked out harder than a mangled midget hanging around a piñata. As a result, I'm proud to announce that I've registered two solid back to back naps in the Habs last 2 outings. Not bad. Really, it isn't. I say this because if we look at their record since I've developed ‘devotee narcolepsy’; my Habs are 2 and 0 with Price himself posting back to back wins over Buffalo and Ottawa. In the midst of it all, earning his first win at Home since February 2009.

Thus surfaces my present predicament; should I continue to fall asleep during games? If I do, les boys might continue to roll and if I don’t well…I don’t know. Price might pick up my nap slack.

What to do? What to do?

Well, we shall see if I can make it through a whole game when Les Habs take on Los Diablos this upcoming Thursday at home.

Revelation of my Naps: Price and P.K’s victory handshake.

THE HOME OPENER THAT GOT AWAY = 4 – 3 TAMPA (OT)

La First; Lapierre Scored?

Et On Y Va! Luckily enough, I made it home just in time to see the black biscuit drop in Montreal for the Habs home opener against the Tampa Bay Lightning. Even after two years of West Coast Vancouver living, I must admit that I’m still adjusting my internal Eastern Time clock so that I may watch my beloved Habs play at 4:30pm. It just feels so strange to catch habitual late afternoon hockey games. Time and Subject just don't seem to mesh well, kind of like watching wars films on Christmas Eve or porn too early in the morning. Still, I can’t complain. After all, I was able to get RDS out here for a meager 3.95$ a month in order to make sure that I can monitor as many Habs’s games as I want. Merci, Shaw!

Opening period in this one definitely did not have the same jump as Saturday’s contest against Crosby’s tuxedo birds. In any case, Les Glorieux did make the most of it by getting two pass the Lightning’s net minder, Mike Smith. Max Lapierre ‘in your skate’ got the Habs on the board first five minutes into the opening period with a well placed shot to the right of the Bolts goalie. Albeit, this wasn’t anything to earn him free wings at La Cage since the opportunity came from a sloppy giveaway from Tampa’s defense. Nevertheless, Max has no other choice but to take whatever he can get given his uncanny ability for not scoring goals and being one of the most hated and pusillanimous players in the NHL. The Canadiens’ second goal came on a 4 on 4 situation late in the period. Smith made the initial save on Cammy but gave up the juicy rebound which found its way back onto the Jedi’s stick who tossed it Turtleplecks’ way who then found the back of Smith’s wide open cage. Overall, it was a good first period for the Habs. More importantly however, it was also another solid outing for Carefree Price who made 17 saves in the period. Woah, 17 saves?!? That has to be more saves in one period of regular play than he made in all his pre-season starts this year. Maybe we were too hard on Le Prix. We should learn to chill out in Montreal, shouldn’t we Carey?

La Second; The Pebble Keeps Rolling Downhill

Uneventful second period. Brett Clark put one pass Price on a power play at the top of the second period. Lapierre stayed Lapierre by talking the talk with Downie without ever thinking of marcher la marche. He did however lay a cheap blindside hit on his afore mentioned foe which cost him a 5 minute major and all the more admiration in my eyes and those of many hockey fans outside of Quebec. Still, the Habs were able to kill off the penalty and escape unscathed from ‘The Pebble’s’ antics. Aside from that, Price kept up his firm play by stopping another 12 shots in the period thus giving him 29 saves after 2 periods of play.

La Third; No Poutine in Tampa

You eat a large poutine for starters and what happens when the main course arrives? You aren’t hungry anymore. You went all out in the first course and forgot that there were two more to come. This is precisely how the boys rolled tonight. They dispensed all of their energy in the first period and forgot that they still had another 2/3 of a game to play. As the game progressed, we went from starving to full of pouts pouts. The only constant factor again (pinch me if I’m dreaming) was Price. He essentially kept us in this one. I know, it’s hard to believe but it’s true. Give credit where credit is due.

Le Petit Marty St-Louis did his thing, as French Canadian players who do NOT play from les Habs tend to overly do when playing in front of their home crowd, and tied things up at 2 a piece on the PP. This tie didn’t last long because AK ‘Where’s my little brother?’ 47 scored a beauty less than a minute later. At that point, it seemed as if we were in fact poised to get a W tonight in Montreal. Or so we thought. With two minutes left in the period and Price standing on his head, Pittsburgh’s new enemy # 1 P.K. Subban was called for a questionable ‘high’ stick sending him to the box for 2 minutes. Tampa proceeded to go all in by pulling Smith and creating a 6 on 4 chance. Price made some key saves but the boys in front could not clear their zone. This inevitably led to a Stampkos goal from a gorgeous pass by Vinny with the C (another French boy). Displeased with the initial call on the P.K penalty and what they believed to be a missed call on the power play, the Montreal enthusiasts let the zebras know how they felt by throwing empty beer cups and steamies wrappers on the ice. Strangely enough, this did not sway the zebras.

After 3, we headed into OT with Price already having made 41 saves.

Le OT; OHH Tabarnac!

With 50 seconds left, Big Malone lifted one top shelf on Price after some more sloppy play from the boys in front of him. Recurring theme.

Revelation of the Night: 2 games in a row = Carey price who made 43 saves on 47 shots.

Last Thought: Where’s the D, boys? 47 shots? C’mon, you can’t blame Carey for this one.

“There’s no shortage of motivation for this one…” – Sidney Crosby

La First; A Rookie’s Warm Welcome

Those were Crosby’s words a couple of days ago when asked how he felt about Saturday night’s upcoming match up with the same Cinderella Habs that not only embarrassed his apathetic Penguins in game 7 of last season’s playoffs but also did it by winning the last ever game in the Melon arena. I guess he wasn’t kidding. More so, it seemed like a few of his teammates also heard him because from the time the puck dropped, this second game of the yet to grow any stubble season felt like a full blown grizzly beard rocking playoff game. The pace in the first, like track stars on Yayo, was speedy, intense and fierce. Enough to wake me right up from my mid afternoon couch nap in a hurry. Canada’s golden boy, Sid don’t call me Kid anymore, also took no time to back his words by laying a violent hit on none other than Montreal newest number one stunner, P.K. Subban. Which leads me to my next question: when did trial by fire playoff rookie sensation, P.K Subban, become enemy number one in Pittsburgh? Every time the kid (Subban that is) touched the puck, the Pittsburgh faithful made sure to fill their new igloo with the same boos that us MTL fans typically reserve for our own starting goalie. Not going to touch that one…yet. I’ll say this however, ‘Chill Out’ Price did look awake when he made that nice stop on don’t cross me Crosby during the Penguins first PP opportunity which kept things even and the game scoreless at that point. In any event, back to the Pittsburgh fans and their love affair with P.K for a second. These bunch of jokers also had the unprecedented audacity to boo with ridiculous vigor after the zealous zebras sent Pittsburgh’s newest petite Penguin, Comrie, to the box for 4 after cutting Sub the stud with a cheap high stick. Don’t worry P.K. you keep doing your thing and please never stop chirping Crosby. They’re all just playa haters.

Aside from the determined boos in the first for P.K, the only other highlight to report was the Habs first tally. Cammy, freshly back from a one game suspension, netted a beauty thanks to a fine-looking back door feed from Turtleplecks to open up the score. Nice to have you back Cams, could’ve used you against The Leafs though.

La Second; Price is still Awake

Early on in the second, after a penalty from what has to be one of the greatest defenseman of all time; O’Byrne (what a joke), Malkin evened things up on a 4 on 3 from a pretty pass from Mr. Crosby. Even though Malkin’s shot got pass him, to no fault of his own, Careless Price actually looked good. Conscious and alert, he was able to make a handful of key stops, including another one on Crosby, to keep the score still tied at 1 a piece after 40 minutes of play. As unbelievable as this may sound, Price actually did Halak’s job and kept us in this one. The boys in front of him took too many careless penalties and seemed to lose their jump in the 2nd. Still, that usually happens when you spend most of the period in the box than on the ice. But Carey, relax bud and don’t get spent. After all, we’re not going to win the Cup from 2 solid periods in game two of a premature season.

Notable mention: No love between the Maxims; Talbot vs. Lapierre. Once again, Lapierre demonstrated why he is a valuable member of the Habs’ squad by heroically refusing to drop his mitts after agreeing to fight against his long time friend and admirer, Talbot, and then grinning on his way back to the bench while Talbot was being escorted to the box. All class, Max, all class.

La Third; Last Minute Steal

After escaping unscathed from the 2nd, we picked it back up in the 3rd and to my surprise Carey continued this bizarre trend on stopping pucks. That is until Letestwho? squeezed the go ahead goal five-hole on Mr. Price at the halfway mark of the 3rd period. For a second, I grimaced and wondered how many more them flightless birds would get pass you, but you proved me wrong Carey. You kept your composure and kept the puck out of the net long enough for some last minute heroics from the boys ahead of you. Doesn’t it feel good the stop the puck? Now, remember that feeling and take it with you for the next 80 games. Please.

With less than 3 minutes left, Gorgeous Gorges took a shot on net and Cammy got his second by tipping it pass Fleury in order to tie it up. Clearly shook, the Sorel Flower then let a weak one trickle in through his five-hole 30 seconds later thanks to Gomez’s speedy effort. Hey Gommy, how much did that one cost us? Better keep ‘em coming, Scotty.

Game winner by Gomez; Habs take it 3-2.

Amazingly we stole one tonight. It’s okay, a win is a win. Now, let’s feed off that for the home opener.

Revelation of the night: Carey Price who stopped 36 of 38 shots.

Last thoughts: Nice little rivalry developing between these two teams and I’m looking forward to the next meeting. Lastly, Malkin – what do you have against Gionta? Real Russian balls to pick on one of the smallest guys in the league.